Shelby McGinnis thought the knock at her door meant her youngest daughter had finally arrived for Sunday lunch on Oct. 4, 2020. She was ready to give Markie a hard time for keeping her waiting.
Instead, she opened the front door of her Raywood home to find a law enforcement officer standing outside, and immediately felt the panic rising in her throat.
Only hours earlier, McGinnis had been celebrating the first service at Freedom Church in Liberty, then feeding baby goats at the country home where her family had begun a new life. Now, she was learning that her 29-year-old daughter had been senselessly murdered on her way there.
“When I opened it, I thought it was gonna be Markie standing there,” McGinnis said.
Six years after that knock, McGinnis is sharing what followed in her new book, “Recreated: Walking Out of the Grave.” In a recent interview on Bluebonnet News’ Headlines and Heartlines podcast, she spoke about the daughter she misses, the faith she struggled to hold onto and the slow process of learning to live again.
“I feel like grief broke me down, and God built me up into a whole new me that is not the same person that I was before at all,” she said.
Markie was killed on Oct. 4, 2020, while stopped at a railroad crossing near her parents’ home in Raywood. A stranger – a young man from Louisiana – approached her car and shot her without provocation. In June 2023, her killer, Henry Davis, was sentenced to life in prison.
The family had moved to Liberty County that summer after years in the Kemah area. For McGinnis, the move brought the quieter country life she wanted. For Markie, who live in Spring, Texas, it was also a season of possibilities.
“She was a bright and bubbly, fun, young woman who was ready to take her world by storm,” McGinnis said.
A youth pastor, Markie had a gift for reaching young people. She was excited about a new job and a relationship her mother described as promising.
“She had a way with youth kids and young adults that I had never seen before,” McGinnis said.
At home, that personality filled her mother’s kitchen. Markie sang, bounced around and acted silly. She also delighted in finding small ways to irritate her mother in a loving, baby-of-the-family way.
“She loved that. That was her favorite thing,” McGinnis said.
On the day Markie died, McGinnis’ two older daughters had canceled their lunch plans because things had come up with their children. McGinnis and her husband, Mark, were waiting only for their youngest.
“She was late, and we waited and waited, and I started to worry,” she said.
Delivering the news was complicated by the fact that Markie’s car was registered in her mother’s name. The law enforcement officer initially thought Shelby McGinnis was the victim, then had to establish who had been driving.
The news shattered the family. Each person grieved differently, McGinnis said. One daughter briefly withdrew. Family members struggled to sleep. Her husband cried more than she had ever seen him cry.
Sunday lunches stopped.
“We haven’t had the heart for it since Markie’s murder,” she said.
Even everyday errands became reminders of who was missing. Buying Christmas gifts meant remembering she now needed two instead of three. At the grocery store, she would see a special treat she once would have picked up for Markie.
“When you realize there’s no need for that, it’s pretty miserable,” McGinnis said.
Along with their daughter, the family lost the future they had imagined for her.
“We’ve been deprived of so many things, not just grandchildren,” she said. “Barbecues, Christmases, all the things that parents live for.”
Living near the place where Markie died made it impossible to put the tragedy out of sight. McGinnis’ commutes takes her across that spot twice a day. During the first weeks, the markings left by investigators were still visible.
“I learned some back roads the first couple of weeks to not have to drive that way, because it was just too hard,” she said.
Eventually, she returned to her usual route, though passing that place still brings a reminder of her daughter’s death.
McGinnis also grieved the loss of the woman she had been before. During her victim impact statement at the trial for her daughter’s murderer, she spoke about missing herself — the happy mother who once woke up ready for the day.
“I lost my entire self,” she said.
At first, she expected grief to ease within weeks or months. She did not understand how long it would take or how much it would change her.
“I had no idea that it would take years until I felt like myself, and that self would be a whole new person altogether,” McGinnis said.
For a time, she felt guilty about smiling. She worried that others might judge her for having a happy moment after losing her daughter. About a year passed before she realized she was stopping herself from experiencing joy.
“I knew that I didn’t enjoy things the same way anymore, but I didn’t realize that I was the one that was putting a stop to the joy,” she said.
Her faith, long central to her life, was shaken.
“I couldn’t understand how a God that I taught my baby to love could let that happen to her,” McGinnis said.
She had questions and anger. For seven days, she says she stopped speaking to God and recalls telling Him she wanted distance. When she returned to prayer, she found comfort in feeling that she was still loved.
“He loved me, even though I was angry,” she said.
Friends and her church helped her through the days when she could not find the strength on her own. A friend of 30 years called every day and urged her to get out of bed.
“There were many days where she had to have faith for me when I didn’t have it,” McGinnis said.
That experience helped shape her advice to people who want to comfort someone grieving. Finding the perfect words matters less than showing up.
“I think just your presence is more important than your words,” she said.
McGinnis said she tried to give people grace when their attempts at comfort hurt. She pictured herself as a colander, letting painful comments pass through rather than holding onto them.
“I knew that people were doing their best, just like I was,” she said.
Writing became another way to work through her grief. McGinnis said she felt God urging her to write a book, but she initially thought the writing might remain private.
“I kind of felt like it was something that I was just gonna work through, all the emotions,” she said.
For about three years, she used the notes section on her phone to record thoughts, Bible verses and things she was learning. She was surprised when those entries grew into a 182-page book.
Rev. Jason John Cowart, her pastor at Freedom Church, encouraged her to share the manuscript and helped her get it published.
The title came from how McGinnis understood what had happened to her. She described a vision of herself lying across Markie’s grave in a deep, dark crypt, recognizing that she had buried herself there, too.
“That’s not where God wanted me to live anymore,” she said. “And so, I had to walk out of that grave, and it took a little bit of time and some surrender and patience to get there.”
“Recreated” fit because she did not feel she had been restored to her former self.
“I was completely recreated, not restored to my old self, made new completely,” she said.
Writing helped her see and understand the steps she had taken.
“It made me look at things, and then when you write it down, you understand what you just walked through,” McGinnis said.
Though the book grew from her daughter’s death, she hopes it will help people facing many kinds of loss. She wants someone in the darkest days of grief to find comfort in knowing another person has survived them.
“I couldn’t see my way out either,” she said. “I had to walk one step at a time.”
McGinnis believes Markie would be proud of the book and its purpose.
“She loved to take a problem and turn it into something great,” she said. “That was her favorite thing.”
“Recreated: Walking Out of the Grave” is available on Amazon, McGinnis said.
Today, she believes she has found a measure of closure, though it looks different from what she once expected. There was no neat ending that allowed her to put every emotion away.
“What I learned is, you just learn to absorb it into your human person, and it just becomes a part of you,” she said.
Markie remains part of her life, but so does the grief of losing her. McGinnis is making room for happiness again, and for the possibility that sharing her pain might help someone else.
“Today, I choose life,” she said.
To hear more of the Headlines and Heartlines podcast show featuring McGinnis, click the link below: